The MRI – Oct. 2

Over the next few days Jeff and I did some reading about acoustic neuromas (AN), the treatments, the risks, etc. I was still concerned that it could be brain cancer and thought that at least if it was an acoustic neumora I would be able to see Brooke grow up, hopefully live a long life with her and Jeff, etc. Jeff wouldn’t let me read too much because he kept telling me that we didn’t really know for sure what was going on and that we shouldn’t jump to conclusions without all the facts.

On Oct. 2 I had an MRI. I had managed to keep it together for the last few days but after the MRI I completely lost it – thank God Jeff was with me. The reality of what was happening really set in and I was scared to death of finding out what was in my brain for fear of it being cancer. The MRI technician said my doctor had called during the MRI and said he wanted test results ASAP so he thought there was a good chance I would have the results that day. I spent the entire day being a complete basket case and of course they never called until the next morning. They confirmed it was an AN, which was a relief to some degree because it meant that I didn’t have brain cancer. The ENT said he had never had a patient who was happy to hear they had an AN, but then again he didn’t have many patients with a family history of brain cancer.

After talking to my ENT, I immediately started making phone calls for appointments with specialists – a radiation specialist and an appointment at the U of M for a surgical consult. I also spent the next few days being in complete denial that I had a brain tumor. When I told my family, I told them it was a "mass" behind my ear. Never ever, would I say the words “brain tumor” - it was too scary to say out loud. I also still had some doubts about the fact that the tumor was benign, but as soon as those thoughts would enter my mind, I just tried to push them away.